


I am not a Robot

by KataraTakaran



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Clone UA, F/M, M/M, Multi, Other, temp character death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-16
Updated: 2017-04-03
Packaged: 2018-10-06 07:52:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10329698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KataraTakaran/pseuds/KataraTakaran
Summary: Lance had been taken by the Galrans. Tortured and mutilated to near death, his team must find a way to fix this, or else Voltron, and the universe, will be lost.((Previously seen in my drabble collection: Why does galran cum taste like fake grape))





	1. Detonation

**Author's Note:**

> Content:  
> Blood/Gore  
> Angst  
> Mentions of Vomit  
> Temp Char death  
> ***  
> daddyroboarm Is the tumblog responsible for Lance's full name! Glad i could find that!

“Shiro, to the left.” Pidge directed, and he turned accordingly. The cell opened, and Lance was there. Naked, strung to the ceiling with glowing energy cuffs, and very much unconscious from his lack of response, but there.

“Found him! Lance, are you okay?”

“Manual Reboot required.” Lance replied without moving. His voice sounded so mechanical without his usual inflection.

“Lance?” Shiro asked, approaching.

“Manual Reboot required.”

“Lance, now is not the time for joking around.” Shiro chided. The energy cuffs were the only thing keeping him upright for the moment.

“Manual Reboot required.”

“Lance, stop.”

“Attempting Override. Powering down...” Shiro winced as his helmet crackled slightly into his ear before coming to life.

“Shiro? You found Lance? Is he okay?” Hunk sounded like he was running.

“He looks fine. Someone took his clothes.” He frowned, “He keeps demanding a manual reboot? Is this some kind of code you boys have?”

“Override Failed. Manual Reboot required.” Lance announced.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, Lance!” Hunk swore, surprising everyone on the channel.

“Hunk-”

“I’m on the wrong side of the ship!” Hunk interrupted any chiding or request for clarification. “Demand Operation 142-4224 CUBA.”

“Operation 142-4224 Cuba?” Shiro was officially confused.

“Authorization Granted.” Lance shuddered, and something on his back clicked. Shiro had to fight the urge to vomit as blood spilt down Lance’s back. He peered through the fluid with a grimace.

Inside was a mess of melted slag that had once been wiring. He could see the glint of steel covering the blue Paladin’s spine. To the side was a more solid box-like container.

“Open the box. Inside are 4 buttons. You have to long-press them all at once, until you hear a noise.” Hunk instructed.

“Hunk, there is a lot of blood. Like, a lot a lot.” Shiro’s fingers struggled with the clasp, but it gave fairly quickly with a click. Four buttons lined up in a column, as Hunk promised.

“How bad is it?” Hunk asked.

“Recall when Green hit that electrified can-opener thing at 25 metres per second squared?” That had been a mess. At least Green ‘bled’ oil and brake fluid, not blood.

“If there isn’t a noise, hold for 30 seconds.” Hunk sounded sick at the thought.

There was a noise. A whirring beep. Not unlike when one had to hardboot their computer tower.

“Then short-press all of them at once. Lance is going to give you instructions. You need to follow them.”

Shiro followed, and Lance jolted as he came back... online? Alive? Then he shuddered, and went slack again.

“Manual Reboot failed.” His voice sounded weaker, even through the mechanical monotone. Shiro’s breath caught in his throat. The bottom of the button-box clicked open, exposing three slots, two of which had microchips lodged in them. “Detonation in T-minus 180 Seconds.”

“Hunk-!”

“I heard! Take the chips, and get clear.”

“But Lance-”

“Take the chips, Shiro! And Get! Clear!”

Shiro jolted, easing the microchips from their slots. He hesitated in the door, uncertain. Lance’s body hung even slacker against the restraints. Blood dripped from his lips. His eyes were so, so empty.

The explosion took half the ship with it. Blue had to be clamped in Black’s jaws to prevent her from trying to rescue her Paladin. Shiro watched numbly, the pair of chips snugly in his natural hand.

The Lions took them back to the castle more than they flew. Shiro stumbled slightly as he stepped out of Black. Hunk wasn’t there, but the rest of the team was. Keith assaulted his clenched hand, barely noticing the tacky blood still drying on them. He made a distressed noise at the two tiny remnants of Lance.

Pidge lifted one of the chips, peering at it. “This is Human technology?” She frowned. “I don’t understand, Lance was a robot?”

“I don’t... he looked...” Shiro paused. “Excuse me a moment.” Pidge was left with the chips, as he stumbled off to the side to ‘wash up’. And maybe puke.

“Where’s Hunk?” Keith demanded. “He has some idea.”

“He ran to his quarters the moment he arrived.” Coran peered over Pidge’s shoulder. “What are these used for, on Earth?”

“They’re memory chips. Humans store Music, and Pictures on them. Files. Anything that’ll fit.”

“And what’ll fit?”

“There’s no size label on them.” Pidge turned them over. She considered her laptop, abandoned off to the side. “Give me a minute.”

The chips fit into her laptop’s slot easily, but immediately locked down. She didn’t have the password. She set the encryption program work against it.

It hadn’t worked by the time Hunk returned, headband in hands.

“Okay.” He started. “Who has the chips?”

“Me.” Pidge answered, while the other two looked to Hunk for answered.

“Give.” He demanded them. The inner layer of the headband had several chips tucked into it already, the same shape and size as the ones Lance had held. “Open this one instead.” He offered one with green lines rather than the rests’ blue lines.

Pidge made the switch, watching as Hunk stowed the hardware with utmost care.

“Hunk, if you would Care to Explain?” Allura finally spoke. Her face was unusually pale. Keith seemed to echo the sentiment, as Shiro finally returned, still looking disturbed.

“Lance was supposed to tell you himself. I’m kinda tempted to make him do it anyways.” Bitterness and tears ringed his tone. “I’m just a mechanic.”

“So he was a robot.”

“No.” Hunk shook his head. “You guys probably recall from History of Space Exploration in our first year, when we talked about landing on Europa the first time?”

“Yeah?” The human half of the team understood. Keith kind of shrugged, while the Alteans were completely lost.

“Astronaut Leandro Alejandro Núñez Cuesta Espinosa-McClain. LANCE McClain.” Hunk spelt it out. “Died in a fiery crash, reentering Earth’s atmosphere. Left behind a large family, who agreed to let his preserved genetics be used to recreate him. LANCE McClain, born again a year after his death.”

“I recall that. It was a breakthrough in the cloning industry. But that was 50 years ago.” Shiro frowned deeply.

“Along with LANCE McClain Jr... This is super classified, you didn’t hear it from me. Along with Lance Jr, there was a secondary project started, called the LANCE unit. Clones of the clone, to serve as Co-Pilots in the astroengineering industry.

“They’re augmented with a computerized memory-bank. They’re made... made replaceable. Something that could hold up stronger than a human, that didn’t have to be retrained if lost. Things that could learn from the previous mistakes. Maybe even save the equipment, the human team-members.

“Lance is... Lance is LANCE unit CUBA, a third generation model. He was in classes to provide the database. To guinea-pig under the top fighter-pilot, and provide the database.” Hunk rubbed at his face. “If we want Lance back, we have to go to Earth, and get another unit. Won’t even... won’t even have to retrain him."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> daddyroboarm Is the tumblog responsible for Lance's full name! Glad i could find that!


	2. Europa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content:  
> A whole lotta Lance  
> Cloning

To say the warp to Earth was quiet and stressful would be an extreme understatement. They warped in just past Kerberos, opting to fly the remainder of the system, since the Altean maps didn't have a proper measure of the system.

Pidge talked restlessly, trying to fill the void. "This one is Uranus, after the personification of the sky, and this is Saturn, after a god of agriculture, and that big one we call Jupiter, after the king of gods, god of the sky and lightning-"

"Princess, we're being hailed." Coran spoke over Pidge.

"I thought your system was void but for your home planet?" Allura asked of Shiro.

"There may be an exploratory craft. Jupiter is big enough that it's perfect for gravity assists." Shiro answered.

"Should we answer it?"

"It's a good idea. I mean, we'd land before the signal gets to Earth, but in good faith."

"Very well."

The screen opened, dark for a moment as converters worked the decipher the signal. Eventually just an auditory box raised - no video feed.

"Attention Unidentified Craft, please present Identification and Purpose within this system." The voice was Lance's. Older, more professional maybe, but Lance.

"I am Princess Allura of the planet Altea. I and my crew wish to land on your third planet so that one of my crew may receive medical attention."

"Unfortunately Earth does not yet have facilities for extraterrestrial beings. We would request that you alter your course out of the system." Hunk grimaced.

"Allura, may I?" He asked quietly. She nodded. "This is Cadet Hunk Garrett, 142-4224, requesting assistance with LANCE unit CUBA."

"You're a little more than just a Cadet, Number 1..." Coran frowned.

"My profile on earth still has me as a Cadet." He shrugged.

"This is LANCE unit COLOMBIA. Your approach coordinates are as follows."

They were brought in to land, not on Earth, but on Europa. It was a fairly extensive base now. They landed, and a tunnel extended out towards the front entry, sealing about the door. Mostly. The door was too big for the tunnel.

Allura immediately set up atmosphere about the castle, urging her Paladins ahead.

She caught up to them before they made the door. "Is there anything I should know?" She asked quietly of Shiro.

"I'm not sure. Just... just operate as though we've never had intergalactic visitors before." She grimaced.

"Lovely. No rules, no expectations. I am just the diplomat for the entire universe. Excellent."

"Mmhm." Shiro did not relish her position. "Could be worse. Could be Zarkon. Or those Lovely Pluntoriorianites."

"I'm better than those automatically. I'll be fine." She stood a little straighter all the same. She was calm.

It was hard to stay calm when they were greeted by not one, but 7 Lances.

The six were identical yet, younger than Lance by a year and a war. The seventh was maybe a little older, with a small scar on his lip, and a five-o-clock shadow. He too had failed to see war, but he commanded all the same. He lacked Lance’s warm gaze.

"I am Unit Commander COLOMBIA. Please present the LANCE unit requiring assistance."

"Here." Hunk slipped off his headband, and presented it. "His body detonated before we could repair it. I have a full cerebral backup."

"It takes specialized clearance to override or use a spare, unfortunately. CUBA will need to be backed up and scanned, and it will take time to gain clearance, if he is deemed acceptable."

"Is there any way I can speed the process?" Hunk asked.

"You are a Mechanic, yes?" Colombia asked. "We have a unit requiring maintenance, but our in-house mechanic is on shore leave for the next 9 months 3 days. If you would agree to take over, it would allow Units ENGLAND and GERMANY to focus their efforts."

“I’ll do what I can.” Hunk nodded eagerly.

“SUDAN, SYRIA, take him to the Med-Bay.” Two of the Lances broke off, leading Hunk away. Pidge started after, only to be stopped by Colombia’s gentle hand on her shoulder. “Unfortunately our bay is only for trained faculty. I must ask you to refrain from following.”

“That sounds like bullshit.” Pidge growled, honest. Colombia’s polite smile did not falter.

“That _is_ bullshit.” Keith snapped, starting forward as well. “We need Lance, and we need him fast.”

“Unit CUBA will be re-situated as soon as possible.” Colombia stated. “Provided proper clearance.”

Allura stepped in before either of Voltron’s arms could reduce to blows. “I understand you have your limitations, Commander. My Paladins are simply anxious to have their brother back. One cannot run back into the war-zone shy a leg.”

“A Paladin?” Colombia frowned, still even and polite.

“One of five in the entire Universe.” She smiled in return. “Lance... er, Unit CUBA is the Blue Paladin, the Right Leg of Voltron, the Defender of the known Universe. We are at war with the Tyrannical Emperor Zarkon; getting Unit CUBA back in working order is imperative.”

“I see.” Colombia considered, then offered an arm. “If you would follow me, your Majesty. I believe speaking with my superiors personally would speed the case immensely.”

* * *

As they followed Allura and Colombia, the Paladins were flanked by the remaining four mini-Lances. They all seemed to be in awe of Shiro, especially. He didn’t think too much of it – Lance had always fawned over him – until one of them spoke.

“I’ve never seen a TAKASHI unit before... are you all so big?” This particular Lance had one eye that was just a tiny bit darker than the other.

“Takashi... Unit?” Shiro couldn’t help the frown.

“I wasn’t even aware they let the TAKASHI line off-planet yet.” The Lance on his left had bangs that were longer by just a half inch.

“Takashi line?” He asked again.

“Yeah, it’s like super whopping new. You probably don’t even have a database yet.” Dark-eye grinned. “Oh- are you guys not told you’re units? Are you deep cover until the database goes live?”

“We can keep a secret! Wait, your hair is white – did they screw up your accelerant dosage?” Long-hair asked.

“You can’t just _ask_ someone about their acceleration schedule, Somalia.” Dark-eye chided.

“Wait, wait, guys.” He paused them. “I’m not a- a... A Unit. I mean, yes my name is Takashi, but-”

“Oh, Cheese and Crackers, you’re The Provider?” Long-hair (Somalia?) asked, suddenly looking far more alarmed. Dark-eye started at the words, suddenly straightening up to attention.

“I am so, so sorry Sir, I didn’t know! Please forgive my rudeness!”

“No, no, at ease La- er, Cadets. Officers. I don’t know your ranks.” Shiro grimaced. “I just- I wan’t aware there was a... Takashi line? Never-mind one that kinda looked like me.”

“If you are A Provider, it would have been authorized by your next of kin after you were declared dead.” The rear right Lance was three inches taller than his compatriots. “These are Units SOMALIA and SAUDI-ARABIA. I’m SAO-TOME. I believe Cadet is appropriate, as T through Z are still receiving accelerants.”

“Keith, did you-” Shiro asked.

“I signed a lot of things the weeks following. Half of it while in shock, and all of it while under-aged. I take no responsibility.” Keith defended himself. “I take responsibility for punches thrown, though.”

“That’s fair.” Shiro frowned.

“Are you all seriously named after countries?” Pidge grabbed the ear of the yet unnamed Lance. He didn’t appreciate the tug, but allowed it in the same way Lance allowed the contact.

“Yeah.” He replied. “I’m Switzerland, by the way, since the Prince of Piss decided I wasn’t worth the introduction.”

“That was because you hadn’t shoved your foot in your mouth yet, Swiz. And it’s pronounced ‘Principe’, thank you.” Sao-Tome huffed.

“Nice.” Pidge grinned. “So who can break me into the med-bay to help Hunk while tall and serious gets his jam on with the Princess?” She had her priorities.

“Totally, come on.” Switzerland grasped her wrist, and she was dragged down a hall while Colombia wasn’t looking.

Shiro didn’t have a chance to protest. They were already gone.

“I should follow her.” Keith offered weakly.

“Not while I’m watching you aren’t.” Shiro warned. A moment later he had to turn to pinpoint Allura vanishing into an office, and when he turned back, Keith was gone, and the remaining three Lances looked confused. They turned to him for an explanation.

* * *

Switzerland peered over the viewing window, checking the room. Pidge was at his elbow, and after a minute, Keith was at hers.

“So the Mechanic is in surgery.” He pointed. Hunk was arc-welding in a Lance’s back. A mess of tools surrounded him.

“That’s Hunk. He’s the Yellow Paladin.” Pidge explained. Sudan and Syria looked bored as they oversaw his progress. Switzerland grinned at the idea. He scuffled down the corridor below the window ledges until he hit the farthest one.

“In here.” He confirmed. “England and Germany are working on Cuba.”

“There’s just two Lances sitting at computers.” Keith observed, unimpressed.

“They just started. They’re waiting on Cuba’s scan, probably. They can’t let him enter the database before ensuring he’s clean, or else we all go down.”

“I’m going to hack in and watch.” Pidge fished her laptop out.

“The password is LanceIsAwesome.” Switzerland grinned.

“I’m in.” She pecked the code in, and was graced with familiar Terrian jargon. “Yeesh. Kinda don’t wanna be. Who designed this mess?”

“Unit BAHAMAS. And a bunch of other scientists.” He provided.

“Yes, I see the Lance in this now. Is coding this bad genetic?” Pidge asked.

Switzerland couldn’t hide his laughter. Keith flinched – it was Lance’s face, but not his bright giggle. Pidge got a high-five.

“You know, the only one who cares is Colombia. If you shut up we’ll let you watch, Swiss.” One of the older Lances stated dryly.

“But sneaking is fun.” Switzerland immediately countered.

“It only counts as sneaking if you stay hidden, idiot.” The other Lance called from inside the room. “Get in here. Tell your friend not to doxx us.”

“Doxx is the wrong word.” Pidge closed down, darting into the room.

“I don’t care. England, shut the fucking door. It’s cold out there.”

“Fuck you Germany.” England held the door open wider a moment, before eyeing Keith. “You coming in, Red?”

“I’m just here to make sure Lance is okay.” He didn’t like all these familiar faces mocking him. England’s face softened slightly.

“I’m going to go piss off Rica. Mind Green and Cheese.”

“Door. Close it. Now.” Germany didn’t seem to care.

The door clicked as it shut, blocking out the noise of the room. England leaned against it, calm. “You okay, Kid?”

“I’m fine.” He couldn’t quite hide the growl in his tone.

“You just find out?” He asked next.

“You can stop the worried, patient thing with his face, thanks.” Keith turned away. There was a soft sigh behind him.

“Hi.” England extended a hand. “I’m Lance’s identical younger brother, England. What’s your name?”

“...” Keith glanced back, and was surprised by a pair of frames, and a gentle, reserved expression. England stood more relaxed than the Garrison’s military-esk training would allow. “Keith.” He finally answered.


	3. Awakening

Keith followed England. The LANCE navigated the long halls of the facility with little trouble. The med-bays were centralized deep in the facility. There were a half dozen emergency airlocks that he passed, and looking out a window, there were still a few connected buildings surrounding the hall they occupied. Hangars, he thought.

“If you wait three hours, there’ll be a gorgeous view of Jupiter’s Eye.” England provided. Already it edged on the horizon where he pointed. “I usually fuck off for at least an hour to watch it. It can get a little mesmerizing.”

“The footage doesn’t do it justice, I’m sure.” Keith muttered. England shook his head, grinning lopsidedly.

“Not in the least.”

“So where are you taking me?” Keith finally asked. “This is pretty far out of the way.”

“Ah,” England chuckled. “Right. Rica.” He bustled down the hall with newfound determination.

“Rica?” Keith jogged after him. He wasn’t particularly worried. His bayard was nearby.

“Mm. Costa-Rica and Cuba were practically twins back in the day. I doubt time's changed that much, even if they were separated.” England turned at a flight of stairs, heading up. “The C-line is already pretty tight knit, but yours and Costa-Rica especially.”

The stairs went up for several floors. Keith realized he was on the closest side of the base to the castle. In some sort of communications tower. The room was comfortably dim, lit mostly by open windows and the glow of screens.

There were 15 Lances at varying stations, most in varying states of boredom. The commander’s console was vacant at first glance.

“Ricolaaaa~!” England leaned over the desk, peering into the foot area. The computer was on, and a headphone wire betrayed the hiding place for what it was. Keith waited suspiciously. The other Lances in the room didn’t even blink.

“Not now, fapping.”

“No you’re not.”

“No, I’m not, but I’m kicking Colombia’s ass at this stupid ass snake game and -agh!” The universal tone of so close yet so, so far echoed slightly. “England!”

“Haha.” He jeered in return. “So anyways, Cuba’s back, but we gotta process him before you can roundhouse him into next week.”

“Cuba’s back?!” There was a thud – someone had stood too fast – and a few spanish curses, before yet another Lance appeared in the room.

“Is that a Mullet?” Keith heard himself blurt. Nevermind this ‘Rica’ was missing nearly half his face to heavy scarring, the mullet was the most surprising feature.

“Of course, Mullets are pure sex. You know this. You have one too.” Costa-Rica waved him off. Then paused. “Whoa, what’s your name, Sexy? I wasn’t aware there was a model on board.”

Good god there were two of them that did the eyebrow thing.

* * *

 

"Welcome back, ya fucking nerd."

“Mm. The succulent voice of my beloved little pigeon. I make the clock party this time?" Lance opened his eyes. Pidge stared down at him. He could see the holographic projection of his bust in her glasses.

"No, there was no party." She glared warningly. "You made Shiro toss his guts. Shiro." He grimaced, accepting the scold.

"Sorry." He murmured. "I'll try not to get liquified next time."

"Better do more than try, Mister." Pidge growled.

"…Gremlins aside, do you know where you are, Cuba?" Germany entered his field of vision.

"Considering the detonation countdown I started before I ejected," Lance stuck his tongue out, "I'd imagine this was heaven. But you're here. So's Pidgepodge. So Earth?"

"Right system. You left before we were re-based on Europa."

"Nice. Is the database live? I have so much to add to it."

"Yes, but I have to process it all first." Germany sighed. "I brought you live so you can help, since England fucked off."

"Pidgepodge, you like computers, right?" Lance redirected his attention. "Be a dear and help my baby brother?"

"Already am. This minefield you call a database is a fucking mess." Pidge's laptop was on the table next to him.

"Also, I'm hardly a baby, Cuba." Germany huffed. "Switzerland, this is Unit CUBA. He went AWOL before you started accelerants."

"Oh no, he's cute." Lance needed to squish his cheeks.

"Bitch you guessed it." Switzerland grinned.

"...You just came off the accelerants, didn't you? Three teaspoons coffee grounds, mixed with honey and lemon juice. Let it rest on your face for an hour each morning." Lance wished he had hands to indicate with. "It'll help the sweats, and wake you up besides."

"Wha-"

"CUBA wrote most of the skincare manuals, kid." Germany explained. "Probably improved upon them too."

"Your sallow cheeks tell me you're dehydrated." Lance grinned. Had his bell-jar holograph projector not been welded to the table, Lance would have been shoved off. Germany gave no fucks. "But if you mix three ounces of Altean foodgoo with three teaspoons of clear nunvill, it'll put the rosy back in our golden. Add the juice of an Olkari Allidghin, and bam, only need to shave once a month. Cures the razor burn right up too."

"... are you glitching out, Cuba?" Switzerland tapped the glass. "Those didn't sound like words."

"The Olkari and Alteans are alien races. Food-goo is a staple, Nunvill is mildly alcoholic kinda. Allidghin are kind of like peaches, just red and shaped like a kumquat." Pidge clarified.

"Aliens??" Switzerland gasped. "Wait, the elf Lady-?!"

"One of the last two of her race." Lance nodded. "She does not fall for my charms, or my aesthetic, though. Shame."

"She's really pretty. Way out of our league."

"Well, maybe your league."

"Bless you, and your naïve soul."

"Both of you shut up – this is hard enough without your nattering." Germany growled.

"Without us life would be boring, Germy." Lance winked.

"Without you, things would get done." He snapped back.

"Boys don't fight, you're both pretty." Pidge drawled. "So your memory bank is clean. Haggar didn't bug you."

"Mm." Germany agreed. "Who Jailbroke you?"

"Me. I'm a little shit and a troublemaker to boot." Lance sang. "So delete the file Kogane from the upload will you? I don't want trouble from the uppers."

"Sure. You get to deal with any fallout from that."

"Can do chief." Lance pushed his files about. Nothing had really been interfered with. His tech was 10,000 years behind the Galran's, and they weren't back compatible. But he opened it easily. Pidge, Germany and Switzerland were treated to a first person feed of flying Blue.

"So that's space?" Switzerland asked.

"Yeah, most of it is just that, space." Pidge provided. "Is this that last swing through the Qeosaps' Nebula?"

"Nah. I have to review how I died, unfortunately. See where I went wrong. 20/20 hindsight, and all that."

"That's shitty." Pidge didn't agree. "You already survived it once."

"It also helps the techies gauge how bad the upload will be, too." Lance shrugged.

"The upload? To the database or to your new body?"

"I have to be a part of the database in order to get clearance to be reassigned." Lance smiled softly. "Don't worry, Pigeon, I left Blue's instructions with the lion herself. She'll fill me back in when I get back.”

"She knew?"

"Couldn't exactly hide it." He admitted. "S'why we're so close, really. She's a sentient in a robotic body, I'm an AI in an organic one. She loves me."

"Oh right, speaking of AIs and organics, Costa Rica says you're a jerk and he's going to kill you." Germany interrupted, even as he picked up a landline, and dialled. "T-minus 5 minutes until large Database upload. Prepare for 10 minute downtime; 15 if you're COLOMBIA or Post-M series." Germany broadcasted throughout the base. He lifted the phone when it rang a minute later.

"Can you put it off an hour?" Colombia asked. "I'm in a meeting."

"No. I can't interrupt a shipment, nor can I for a week after new units arrive."

"Oh right, that is today."

"Yup."

Colombia sighed slightly. "Very well. Proceed."

"Aye-aye." Germany hung up on him.

He stepped back into the communications room easily. "Your Majesty," he greeted. Up on the screen, his varying superiors were conferring. "Brigadier General, Commissioner General, Lt. General, I am required to step away to oversee an upload. With your permission I shall return when my business is concluded."

"Granted, Unit COLOMBIA. Proceed." The brigadier dismissed him. "Now, onto how you came to the possession of a LANCE unit."

Colombia left the office, to find his remaining three S-Class units hanging off the TAKASHI unit.

"At attention, Cadets." He chided.

"Colombia! Colombia, He's a provider!" Somalia announced brightly. Shiro went red, as the children continued to use him as a jungle-gym.

"That is highly unlikely, cadets. I recovered the lost craft on Kerberos with the few remains personally. To survive the wreckage would to come out to less than half a percent of a chance." Colombia sighed. "Please return to your bunkers. I apologize if you were not informed, TAKASHI Unit. I will not expose you until clearance is given."

The cadets filtered away sadly. Shiro frowned deeply. "I and my crew landed safely on Kerberos May 18th, 2XXX. We were abducted by aliens May 20th." He was himself, he knew.

"I apologize, but I do not have time to argue this with you. Our system is updating. Regardless of your differentiating serialization, it would be highly suggested you find a comfortable seat." Colombia left it at that, striding down the hall after his cadets.

* * *

England returned to his post 60 seconds to upload. There was no sign of Keith. Lance immediately started chatting England up, much to Germany's distaste. Pidge and Switzerland were shunted from the room immediately upon his return.

"I'm gunna go sit with Sudan and Syria," Switzerland announced. "Mind staying in the hall?"

"Sure. I wanna watch this whole mess go 'live'." She plonked down outside the room.

* * *

Hunk tightened the last bolt, and nodded. The speaker crackling to life spooked him slightly.

"Final Warning; T-minus 30 seconds to Mass Upload. Please assume your positions."

"Oh," he considered Sri-Lanka. "Should I turn him back on?"

"He'll appreciate it." Sudan nodded. He barely noticed when a similarly aged LANCE placed himself under his arm.

"It's okay, Switz. China says it's like a shot. Only hurts for a sec." Syria ruffled the newcomer's hair gently. Hunk brought Sri-Lanka live, stroking his hair gently as he blinked, confused.

"How long was I out?" He asked weakly.

"I'll answer every question I can in a few minutes, buddy." Hunk murmured kindly. "There's an upload in like 10 seconds, they figure it'll be a kahuna of a wave."

"Okay." Hunk was pressed into, and he easily cradled the small LANCE close. It took little more that an opening gesture to gain the other three, hugging them firmly. Grounding them, as the first wave of the electromagnetic pulse washed over them.

It caused Hunk discomfort. The four children in his grasp whined their very actual pain.

A couple rooms down, Lance grimaced as both his brothers leaned forward, clutching their stomachs. Germany whined, high and tight.

"Sorry guys." He murmured gently, wishing he could reach out and hold them. At the same time, he too would be in physical pain if he was out there, so small graces.

"So that's what being internally liquified feels like." England finally groaned, making himself sit up.

"Also being stabbed, shot, electrocuted, exploded and vacuumed into space." Germany added.

"None of those events were particularly fun." He agreed.

"Those healing pods, though." England grinned at the very idea. "Magical."

"Terrifying." Germany disagreed.

"Depends if they're going to help, or lock you in a cryogenic freezing process." Lance chirped.

Germany shuddered, and grabbed his phone up. "No one is to force themselves up until this passes. Sorry about the underestimate," rang through the base. Lance could feel the newly connected database roil under the words, already straining under the weight of what he'd synced.

He hoped he could make it up to them in the future. They were his brothers. Hurting them, even without meaning to, was the last thing he wanted.


End file.
